Cheesy Quintessence

Many have heard the stories of my Nintendo DS Lite defect woes. Starting a little over a year ago, I purchased and exchanged a total of four DS Lite systems, all of which had some sort of issue, such as malfunctional controls, discolored screens, dead pixels, and more. Eventually, the one I finally did keep had a yellow-tinted touch screen. I was annoyed, but I kept it.

After about eight months, however, the control pad lost its sensitivity. Obviously, by now it was too late to return the product to the retailer, so I called Nintendo to have it repaired. This repair, however, left my system in worse condition than it started out; while the repair center fixed the control pad, they scratched up the exterior of the system, put a deep gouge in the top screen, and replaced the yellow touch screen with a blue one instead of a good one.

Rightfully upset, I called again. This time, the representative at Nintendo suggested sending me a refurbished unit, which they call “advance replacement,” presumably since I receive the replacement before sending mine back. To this I agreed, since mine had been so heavily damaged. The representative assured me that this unit had been thoroughly tested by certified employees to meet the highest operating standards. But, alas, the refurb had weird problems of its own; the top screen’s plastic caused it to be very dim, for example. I called again, and they replaced the first refurb with another refurb, which had even more problems: stuck pixels, a shoulder button that would not release. Such thorough testing was clearly exercised.

After this, the Nintendo representatives seemed to be getting a little impatient with me. Nevertheless, they set up yet another repair, promising that if this time did not fix things, they would do “something drastic.” To top it off, to make this process as fast as possible, the unit was going to be returned to me via UPS next day airmail. With low expectations, I received the repaired unit, only to find it had just as many problems as it started out with, plus exterior damage done by those “repairing” it.

Finally, upon calling again, the representative immediately said they could replace it with a brand new unit. I agreed, and have received my new DS Lite, which is free of any defects I’ve previously experienced. Furthermore, while I retained the AC adapter, slot 2 cover, and both styli, my new system came with those components as well, minus the extra stylus. Why they would open the box to remove the stylus but not the AC adapter is beyond me, but I’m thrilled and satisfied anyway. It may have cost them at least the value of a DS Lite in UPS shipping, but they were determined to make me satisfied.

Nintendo power! Or something like that.

I was told that I was being absurd. I was told it wasn’t worthwhile. Yesterday, at 8:00 AM, in the little town of Rockdale, I finally acquired a Wii. It’s been a week since a friend at Wal-Mart informed me that they got a shipment of 9 Wii units that they couldn’t sell until the 6th at 8 AM.

I got to the Wal-Mart shortly after midnight. People online said I should go at 6 AM. The people working at Wal-Mart at midnight said I should come back at 7, because they knew nothing about a Wii shipment and the truck wouldn’t arrive until then. I almost listened to them, but only minutes after I showed up, the next two people in line, a couple, showed up. The woman asked if I was here for the Wii, and we were glad to learn that we weren’t the only crazy people in town.

It wasn’t long before another couple showed up. Within an hour, the line had 5 people/groups in it. By 5 AM, all 9 Wiis were accounted for. We all just sat there for hours in chairs in front of the service desk, while unfortunate people in other towns had to stay out in the cold. A little after 7, vouchers were handed out, and I proudly took number 1. After standing in the cold for two hours last week, and spending hours in other lines only to fail, I took it to the extreme and succeeded. And they said I should get there at 6 or 7. Go Mii.

I decided to go to the midnight Wii launch at the Wal-Mart in Taylor to see if I could be one of the first people to own the new console. But, alas, I did not get there in time. They had given out numbers at 10 PM (I arrived at 11:30). I ended up getting number 24, and there were a total of 20 Wii systems to be sold. I decided it was worth a shot, since I only had to wait about 30 minutes. Unfortunately, all of the 20 first people showed up; it seems that even the fourth one had been camping outside the store since Friday.

That really sucked. What a waste of time. I don’t really have the patience to wait in line for a new game system for days, so I’ll just wait until after initial launch next time around.

Unfortunately, I have to retract my prior statements about Nintendo cleaning up its manufacturing process. The DS Lite I got, much to my dismay, had a screwed up control pad; it made snapping sounds and was very difficult to make work in diagonal directions. So, I exchanged it for another one, hoping that my blog post had been right.

It wasn’t. Sure enough, I found dust particles under the new unit’s screens. Lots of them, too. Luckily, the bright backlight makes them virtually invisible, so it wasn’t a big deal. However, that unit was also (seemingly) defective, as the bottom screen had a strong yellow tint to it. I’m aware that the bottom screen, being a touch screen, won’t appear the same as the top screen, but this one was strikingly different, so I returned it again.

Now I have it: My third DS Lite, and the control pad works, the screens are appropriately colored… and there are two visible specks of foreign particles on the top display. Examination with a flashlight reveals that the top screen is loaded with dust particles, and I’m fortunate that only two of them show up under the backlight. When visible they discolor the part of the screen they cover. They actually make the screen look like it has dysfunctional pixels, but the flashlight reveals that they are indeed dust.

I hate this. At least now I have a unit without other problems, so if I replace the top screen using a screen replacement kit, it would be possible to clean it out (though not in my incredibly dusty home). I found only one particle under the touch screen (which can’t be serviced by the user), so that’s a blessing.

Today I finally got into the game and bought a Nintendo DS Lite in the newly released “onyx” black color. This is only notable because it’s the first Nintendo handheld I’ve ever purchased that doesn’t seem to have dust, or other foreign particles under its screen (in this case, both of them). I’m pleasantly surprised; as many Game Boy systems as I have had to return to get one with an acceptably minimal amount of foreign material under the screens, I expected to have to go through a dozen DS systems to find something acceptable. For the record, I have possesed these devices, all of which had dust under their screens:

• Game Boy
• Game Boy Pocket
• Three Game Boy Color
• Two Game Boy Advance
• Two Game Boy Advance SP

When my Game Boy Pocket was a problem, we contacted Nintendo of America to complain. The person we talked with–who, if I recall, was highly authoratative in the company, though I can’t remember what position–informed us that there is nothing about the design to prevent foreign particles from entering the device’s screen. This has held true; all my Game Boy systems have had dust under their screens at purchase, and changing dust situations through their life. My Game Boy Advance SP even had a tiny insect crawling around under the screen once.

Hopefully this isn’t so much the case with the DS Lite, since it’s the first one I’ve ever bought without any. Now if some dust doesn’t creep in before I can actually purchase a DS game to fill its most significant orifice, I’ll be set.