Cheesy Quintessence

Many have heard the stories of my Nintendo DS Lite defect woes. Starting a little over a year ago, I purchased and exchanged a total of four DS Lite systems, all of which had some sort of issue, such as malfunctional controls, discolored screens, dead pixels, and more. Eventually, the one I finally did keep had a yellow-tinted touch screen. I was annoyed, but I kept it.

After about eight months, however, the control pad lost its sensitivity. Obviously, by now it was too late to return the product to the retailer, so I called Nintendo to have it repaired. This repair, however, left my system in worse condition than it started out; while the repair center fixed the control pad, they scratched up the exterior of the system, put a deep gouge in the top screen, and replaced the yellow touch screen with a blue one instead of a good one.

Rightfully upset, I called again. This time, the representative at Nintendo suggested sending me a refurbished unit, which they call “advance replacement,” presumably since I receive the replacement before sending mine back. To this I agreed, since mine had been so heavily damaged. The representative assured me that this unit had been thoroughly tested by certified employees to meet the highest operating standards. But, alas, the refurb had weird problems of its own; the top screen’s plastic caused it to be very dim, for example. I called again, and they replaced the first refurb with another refurb, which had even more problems: stuck pixels, a shoulder button that would not release. Such thorough testing was clearly exercised.

After this, the Nintendo representatives seemed to be getting a little impatient with me. Nevertheless, they set up yet another repair, promising that if this time did not fix things, they would do “something drastic.” To top it off, to make this process as fast as possible, the unit was going to be returned to me via UPS next day airmail. With low expectations, I received the repaired unit, only to find it had just as many problems as it started out with, plus exterior damage done by those “repairing” it.

Finally, upon calling again, the representative immediately said they could replace it with a brand new unit. I agreed, and have received my new DS Lite, which is free of any defects I’ve previously experienced. Furthermore, while I retained the AC adapter, slot 2 cover, and both styli, my new system came with those components as well, minus the extra stylus. Why they would open the box to remove the stylus but not the AC adapter is beyond me, but I’m thrilled and satisfied anyway. It may have cost them at least the value of a DS Lite in UPS shipping, but they were determined to make me satisfied.

Nintendo power! Or something like that.